I get this question constantly. Friends of friends, people at parties, readers who email me — they all want to know the same thing: “I’ve never been to an opera. How do I not make a fool of myself?”

Here’s the secret that took me years in the chorus to fully appreciate: nobody is watching you. Everyone is watching the stage. So relax. But since you asked, let me walk you through it properly.

Choosing Your First Opera

Don’t start with Wagner. I love Wagner, but a four-hour Ring cycle is not a beginner experience. It’s like starting your fitness journey with an ultramarathon.

Good first operas: La Boheme (love story, gorgeous music, mercifully short), Carmen (everyone knows at least three tunes from it), The Magic Flute (funny, fantastical, Mozart at his most charming), or La Traviata (heartbreaking, but in a satisfying way).

If you’re in Sydney or Melbourne, Opera Australia is the obvious starting point. But don’t sleep on smaller companies — Pinchgut Opera in Sydney does intimate, beautifully curated productions. Victorian Opera in Melbourne regularly programmes interesting work. And the regional festivals (Wollongong, Canberra, Perth) often have more adventurous programming at lower prices.

What to Wear

This is the question I get most, and the answer is simpler than you think: wear whatever makes you feel good. Opening nights tend to be dressier — you’ll see suits and cocktail dresses. But midweek performances? I’ve seen people in jeans and nice tops. I’ve performed for audiences where someone in the front row was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Nobody was ejected.

The general rule: smart casual is always appropriate. A step above what you’d wear to a nice restaurant. But honestly, the opera house isn’t going to check your outfit at the door.

Getting Your Tickets

A few practical tips:

• Book early for popular titles. La Boheme and Carmen sell out.
• Weeknight performances are often cheaper and less crowded.
• Restricted view seats can be bargains. Yes, you might miss a corner of the stage, but the sound is often excellent.
• Student and under-30 discounts exist and are genuinely significant. Check the company’s website.
• Don’t buy the most expensive seats for your first time. The middle of the dress circle or the front of the upper level gives you the best combination of sound and sightlines.

On the Night

Arrive at least twenty minutes early. This gives you time to find your seat, grab a drink (yes, there are bars), and read through the programme. Most programmes include a synopsis of the plot — read it. Seriously. Opera plots can be convoluted, and knowing what’s happening lets you focus on the music and the performances rather than trying to figure out why that bloke just stabbed his girlfriend.

Supertitles are projected above the stage in English. They’re your friend. Even when the opera is sung in English, the titles help you catch every word, because singing is not the same as speaking and words can get lost in the orchestration.

When to Clap

This causes more anxiety than it should. Here’s the protocol:

• Clap after arias (solo songs). You’ll know they’ve ended because the orchestra usually has a big finishing flourish, and the singer will hold a final pose. If you’re not sure, wait half a second — if other people start clapping, join in.
• Don’t clap between movements of an overture or between scenes that flow continuously. Again, take your cue from the audience around you.
• At the end of an act, clap as much as you want. Stand up if you were moved. Shout “bravo” if you’re feeling bold (bravo for a man, brava for a woman, bravi for the whole ensemble — but honestly, nobody will correct you).

The Interval

Most operas have at least one interval. This is your chance to stretch, get a drink, discuss what you’ve seen, and visit the loo. The queues for the bathrooms can be epic, especially for the women’s — plan accordingly.

Pre-ordering interval drinks is a pro move. Many venues let you order before the show and collect during the break.

What If You Don’t Like It?

That’s completely fine. Opera isn’t for everyone, and not every production is good. I’ve sat through plenty of performances that didn’t work, and I spent fifteen years doing this professionally. If your first opera doesn’t grab you, try a different one before you write off the whole art form. A bad Rigoletto doesn’t mean you won’t love The Barber of Seville.

The most important thing is to go with an open mind and without the expectation that you need to “get it” immediately. Opera is emotional, visceral, sometimes silly, sometimes devastating. Let it wash over you. You might be surprised what gets under your skin.

And if you end up sobbing during the final act of La Boheme? Welcome to the club. That’s happened to literally everyone, including me, and I’ve heard that opera approximately nine hundred times.

— Margot